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A small snippet from Magic Carpet, my current project (and my submission/addition?) to The “Assignment” Challenge;


It would be nice to know what it’s short for – Calum I assume, or maybe Caleb or Calvin. Maybe I’ll find out, unless it’s one of those no go areas of conversation, which I guess I’ll find out – if he actually arrives.

Ok, ok, he’s not late – I’m just early. But that means nothing, I have no guarantees that he’s actually going to show… Just one of the many problems with blind dates, and one of the many reasons I hate going on them.

The idea of meeting a complete stranger in a public place? With the whole intention of trying to figure out if a: you actually like them, b: they actually like you and c: if you really have anything in common to talk about – all based on the fact one common person in your lives think you would be ‘great together’ and ‘have lots in common’…

Trust me; it’s always a bad idea.

But, Ste has been real insistent about me meeting this guy – even though I’d made it more than clear that I’m not interested in the whole dating things any more. Why is it so important to everyone else that I’m not with someone? Is society that rigid that everyone has to be part of a couple? Does everyone have to be attached at the hip to someone else?

It’s not like I don’t lack for company, and it’s not like I can’t pull… Sex is easy to get these days, thanks to the internet and all the smart phones apps. ‘Sometimes an interesting guy is just a few feet away ready and waiting for fun…’ The ads are not wrong on that point. Sex isn’t that hard to find if that’s all your after.

Emotional connection? Well… Yes, have been there, done that, got the T-shirt. It didn’t work. Tried it again with someone different, and low and behold it didn’t work again. And it didn’t work a third time either. Infidelity wasn’t an issue; actually, there were no issues… It just… Fizzled out. After the honeymoon period and joy of being together, it just… Faded I guess. The feelings, the emotional connection… I just didn’t feel it any more. They did, oddly enough, but not me.

Maybe I’m not wired that way.

Maybe I’m not a relationship sort of person, I have tried.

Friends, Family – the occasional guy to have some fun with – it doesn’t need to be more complicated than that. I’m very happy with the state of my life. This is more about Ste and the fact he’s found ‘Mister Right’ – so naturally all his single friends need to have that happiness too. Of course, by single friends, I mean me – because as far as I know I’m the only one of his friends who isn’t doing the couples thing.

So he keeps setting me up on blind dates.

Last time? I was set up with a straight guy. You’d think, given how much he cares that I’m still single, that he would at least bother to find out something as basic as what side a guy bats for before inflicting him on me.

I don’t know which one of us was more embarrassed… I could understand his confusion; all he’d been told was my name was ‘Sam.’ He thought he was being set up to meet a Samantha not a Samuel – although anyone calling me Samuel, Sammy, or Samantha for that matter, will find themselves on my shit list.

I’m not exactly sure how Ste managed to do it. I mean, how do describe someone without mentioning they’re a he or she? I tried… baffles me. You know? I think he’s doing it deliberately.

Ok, of course he is.

Otherwise, he wouldn’t have set me up with a woman that one time.

Yes, a woman.

Because clearly I must be a closet hetro if I’m not going after any of the guys he’s trying to set me up with, and it nothing to do with his bad choices.

And that brings me back to my current question; what is Cal short for? Cally? Calpurnia? I wouldn’t put it past Ste to set me up with a woman again, given the fact he’s set me up with random guys he’s bumped into in the street (I kid you not), and the plumber who fixed his sink… What was his name again? Mike? I didn’t mind meeting him. That had ended up being a fun night.

Like I say, sex isn’t hard to get if that’s all you’re after.